Thursday, May 15, 2008
Pourpoint
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Silk Banner Success
This is the steaming chest. The silk banner was laid out on brown paper and rolled very tightly around the rod, taped at the ends to seal, then the rod sits suspended in the chest. Water is poured into the chest beforehand and we had two little butane burners going underneath. Important note: position the burners so you can easily refill the cartridges when they run out without having to try and lift a really hot chest.
Here is the chest with the lid on. The lid originally didn't have a handle to lift it. It has since been Blayneyed.
The moment of truth, part 1 - the unrolling of the banner after 3 hours of steaming. Note the lack of tie-dye of effect.
The next stage is washing out the excess dye. MoG had some "silk wash" made from Lux in the box of stuff I got from him. I was a bit worried at this point as a LOT of dye came out in the washing. The picture above was the second wash. During the first wash the water went bright purple. I was very worried that my white bits would end up mauve.
However, the white remained white, as shown above. While a lot of excess dye came out, the dye was still quite firmly fixed on the banner where it should or shouldn't be.
Viola! One completed silk banner in action at May Crown. It fluttered beautifully in the breeze, however this made getting a clear photo a bit of a bugger, so a kind gentle gave us some assistance. I'm really happy with how it turned out. The colours are vibrant and the silk has remained soft and supple.
I'm now confident of doing many more banners and will be running some workshops locally after Flametree Ball to encourage people to have a go.
Monday, April 07, 2008
Cordials
Left to right: Orange, Orange, Rose, Raspberry, Pomegranate, Pomegranate.
Not a bad effort really. Thirsty?
Monday, March 24, 2008
The Frock Wish List
From early on in the SCA, I developed a love of late 16th century Italian frocks, the style that has those beautiful overcoats.
The ultimate frock of this style for me is the one above. Alessandro Allori's portrait of Marie de Medici. I managed to purchase some beautiful blue silk from Fabric Fantasy before they closed down. The main challenge with this frock are the fine details. The embroidered bands, the sleeves, the partlet etc.. I've seen a lot of bad reproductions of this frock so I'm determined not to add another poor reproduction. This is a long term project, so it is going to be a while before I seriously embark on this frock.
This is a simpler style and a frock I have already started. This is Giovanni Battista Moroni's Portrait of a Lady (Possibly Countessa Lucia Albani Avogadro). I originally made the under frock for Lochac's first Coronation. However, I then lost 4 inches from my waist, so it has been unpicked for a re-fit. I've selected different colours than the original portrait. The under frock is a dark blue wool with a satin finish and I have a teal green silk satin for the over dress. This one I hope to finish off this year.Moving along to a different style, I would love to try one of these working class kirtles shown frequently in Rogier van der Weyden paintings.
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And a Cranach for good measure. I like this slightly more conservative look, though I should learn how to puff'n'slash someday.
And some cotehardies and surcoats. The classic, late 14th, early 15th century french variety.
So that's a rough indication of the range of styles I'm interested in. As I actually get to work on some of these I hope to blog some pics. At some point I should probably catalogue the existing wardrobe, with the lessons learnt along the way.
And why aren't I at Rowany Festival right now? Well I was at Festival, but came home on Sunday with lungs full of fluid. So I'm blogging to avoid thinking about the fact that I'm home sick instead of being at Festival.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
The 2007 project wrap up
Projects completed in 2007:
- Watchcoat completed (buttons and buttonholes were the carry-over items from 2006)
- Second blackword cuff for Duchess Yolande completed (now if she can only find the first one...)
- Simple tunic dress and men's tunic for College hospit
- Red silk tunica (using yet another theory on tunica construction)
Projects abandoned:
- the 2nd pair of cut-work calcei. They were made from chrome tanned leather, which was just not working. I've since purchased some vegetable tanned leather and I'll have another go with that.
Teaching was also somewhat limited, but I did manage a few classes:
- Introduction to Roman Costume (Canterbury Faire)
- Entering Crown Tournaments (with Blayney and others, also at Canterbury Faire)
- Basic tunic making (for College Newcomers event)
This year I have a few main goals:
- make a decent block for myself and Blayney and learn how to pattern from a block
- learn some more construction techniques, especially hand sewing techniques
- try at least two different styles of garb that I haven't done before
- learn how to make a period style gambeson and chausses
- make at least two pairs of shoes of different styles
- teach some classes - so far I'm teaching part of the event class in Rowany, probably doing Introduction to Heraldic Display at Festival, and I'll probably do one or more of the collegia that the College kids are organising locally.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
A lost dream found
Last night at Rowany Yule, my consort, Thaddeus Blayney, joined the Order of Chivalry. The ceremony was beautiful and meaningful, and aside from the obvious joy of seeing my consort become a Knight of Lochac, it restored my faith in a dream that I thought was lost.
In the SCA we refer a lot to "the dream". The dream varies from person to person, but it is most often a shared vision of a society where we can pursue our interest in a time gone before while embracing the values of chivalry and courtesy. For me, the dream has always been about the magic that comes from that sincere belief in those values. Last night I remembered the first court I attended many years ago and how I was moved by the words of the Crown, by the sincerity of those swearing fealty, by the feeling of being a part of something that was great.
In the last couple of years, I've felt that dream eroding. I've watched my local group that I helped to found being consumed by petty squabbles, politics, egos, and general crap, while I myself was increasingly absorbed by mundane work and studies that left little time and energy to defend a dream. Having been freed from some mundane pressures recently, I felt my dream had been lost, eroded away by a constant battering, to the point that I began to doubt whether my dream was shared by anyone else.
This weekend, I found my dream again. It was (not surprisingly) right where I'd left it. It was there with those wonderful people I am fortunate enough to call friends, those who share the same dream I do.
It was there in the knighting ceremony, in all the glory that enchanted me many years ago.
The Ladies of the Rose who escorted us into court, symbolising the inspiration that consorts bring to their fighters. Duchess Yolande's beautiful words on the virtues of courtesy and grace that must be present in a Knight (and tight buns, thank you Countess Mathilde). They reminded me of the first time Blayney asked me to be his consort, the first coronet list he fought in.
Duke Sir Cornelius, who spoke of the virtues of prowess, chivalry and honour. It reminded me of the great acts of chivalry and prowess that I've witnessed on the field. Those heart-stopping moments in Crown finals.
Duke Sir Uther, who Blayney squired to many years ago, who spoke of the bond between Knight and Squire. His heartfelt words as he released Blayney from the oath of fealty between Knight and Squire. It reminded me of the 12th Night from hell, which in a bizarre twist ended with Blayney decided to ask Uther to take him as a squire. I remember Uther calling us up in court at Festival when he took Blayney as his squire, asking Gawain to be his foster knight in Lochac, and that sense of lineage as we were introduced to his grand-daddy knight Duke Sir Jade.
From the Chain of Champions - worn by many since the earliest days of the Society and from the hand of Blayney's squire brother Evandyr, recently knighted and Prince of the Mists - to the White Belt - worn by only one other, Sir Gawain, last Prince of Lochac, a dear friend whose memory still beats strong in our hearts as it surely does in those who were fortunate enough to know him. So many memories there, all of them inspiring.
And lastly, the floor-shaking, resounding huzzah from the populace as the newest Knight in Lochac was proclaimed. It reminded me more than anything that this dream is alive in so many people and that when the magic is there we cheer it loud and proud.
To have so many of our friends there to share this was wonderful. The hugs (and tears) were heartfelt and I honestly felt like I had come home to the SCA I love.
Talking to people afterwards it became clear to me that the SCA of my dream is shared by a great many. That it really is only a minority who take joy in cheapening and spoiling the magic. Even when we do get caught up in petty squabbles and politics, deep down, most of us play this game because we were enchanted by a dream.
The magic isn't always there. Australians are too good at lopping tall poppies down. We're embarrassed to be proud of each other, to embrace an ideal, so we downplay the magic. We "dumb down" the game and in doing that we loose the spark that attracted us to the SCA in the first place. We are too embarrassed to speak up and say "we believe in the magic". In the name of acceptance and tolerance, we sometimes allow in those who would mock and belittle the dream and these people will slowly erode the dream unless we can put aside our awkwardness and defend the dream that we believe in.
For me, I feel my faith in the SCA renewed. I've found my dream again and will strive to do what I can to focus things back on the magic that makes the SCA great and to defend that dream against those who would batter it down.
To those wonderful people who I am proud to call my friends, I thank you for being there this weekend (literally and figuratively) and I look forward to sharing the dream together for years to come.
In service to the dream.
Friday, November 30, 2007
You may call me Helga

Sunday, November 25, 2007
Wigstock
So back to other activities. Rowany Yule is fast approaching (Dec 8th). Mr B will be getting Knighted at Yule so the house has been a hive of pre-knighting ceremony prep. This has mostly involved experiments with Roman military costume such as creating a subermalis (worn between a tunica and lorica muculata), in particular trying to figure out how pterges were made. Current thoughts are woven strips and you can see some of Mr B's experiments with inkle loom weaving and combo inkle loom and tablets on his flickr site. He's in the progress of making a proto-subermalis for Yule itself using twill tape for pterges as we're not going to be able to weave enough strips in time.
With Mr B going Roman for Yule that means I'm dressing to match. I've decided it's time for another Roman experiment and plan to try out a few ideas for a tunica (which at present require a decent dry day where wet fabric will dry quickly, damn humidity and rain)
I also means I need a new hairstyle. I have short hair, so when I do Roman, I wear a wig. My poor brown synthetic wig is starting to look a lot worse for wear. I've discovered that you can apply plenty of heat to synthetic hair to style in curls, but they are a bugger to unstyle. I'm currently typing this while on a break from the tedious job of untangling and straighting the wig so I can re-style it. This involves a lot of Johnson & Johnson baby untangle hair spray (Thanks to a tip from Mistress Portia, this is working a treat), a wide tooth comb, a straightening iron and a lot of swearing. It is losing handfuls of hair all over the place so I think this next styling will be it's last.
On the plus side, I bought a new wig. I finally found one that doesn't have a fringe. The downside is it is nordic blonde, which I'm not entirely sure I can pull off (at least not without Mr B calling me Helga). I wonder if you can dye synthetic wigs? Anyone got any suggestions on this? (Myna - are you out there?)
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Back to the biff
I know this my A&S blog and I've been absent for a while, but the thing I've been looking forward to the most after exams has been getting back into biff.
So after no fighting since February, last night I unearthed the armour bag from the garage. Dusted off my gear (LOTS of dust). I got Mr B to fix the new bascinet I bought late last year, but hadn't actually gotten to wear yet. It needed the camail sorted so I could actually get the helm over my head.
Tonight I was all primed to go to Fighter practice when the heavens opened and we had a lovely spot of thunder, lightning and rain. Not to be dissuaded easily, Mr B and I put on our kits and had a spot of biff in the backyard in the rain.
And damn it felt GOOD!
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Stepping Through Time - Out in Paperback
For those who haven't encountered this gem:
Stepping Through Time: Archaeological Footwear from Prehistoric Times until 1800 by Olaf Goubitz, Carol van Driel-Murray and Willy Groenman-van Waateringe
Drawing on 25 years' experience as a conservator of leather, Goubitz presents a typological catalogue of footwear dating from 800-1800 AD. The study is based on Goubitz' analysis of an important assemblage of shoes recovered from excavations at Dordrecht in the Netherlands but the volume's aim is to offer guidance for the identification of shoes found on sites across north-western Europe. In addition, contributions from van Driel-Murray and Groenman-van Waateringe examine evidence for shoe types in prehistoric Europe and the north-western provinces of the Roman Empire, periods which inevitably have left less evidence. The fully illustrated catalogue follows a comprehensive discussion of shoes styles and technology including height standards, iconography, material, patterns, stitches, soles, the identification and dating of fragments and conservation. The volume should prove a useful tool for Roman and, especially, medieval historians and archaeologists.
I've spent many happy moments perusing Duchess D's hard back copy. The hard back was pretty pricey and damn near impossible to get your hands on. The paperback at 25 pounds is serious cause for celebration.*
*I am prepared to admit that this may have been available for ages and I'm just slow on the uptake due to the lack of contact with the real world while I've been studying (which I'm still meant to be doing...I just get distracted by books).
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Almost there
- The UK trip - photos and many happy shoe moments!
- The completion of the 2nd blackwork cuff
- I'm sure there will be more once my brain returns
In the meantime, here is a blatant plug for my A&S competition, to be held at the Feast of the Four Winds - Saturday 17th November, get your butts there with an entry.
Four Winds A&S Competition - 2007
New entry and scoring criteria, plus more prizes!
The goal of the competition is still to produce a head-to-toe costume, a complete "look" for your choice of style.
Entry requirements
At least 75% of the entry must not have been previously entered in a Four Winds competition. So if you made something this year, but didn't enter it, you can enter it next year. This should give people a bit more time to get pieces together and include items they've made previously.
There is no restriction on the amount of the entry that is your own work, but you must indicate which items have been purchased or otherwise created by someone else. You will not receive as many points, but it will still contribute to your overall score.
Scoring system
- Components of the outfit /50
o Undergarments (chemise, smock, hose, brays etc..) /10
o Outer garments (Gown, tunic, coat, etc..) /10
o Footwear (shoes, boots, sandals etc..) /10
o Headwear (head coverings, hair styles, adornments etc..) /10
o Accessojewelryellery, belts, partlets etc..) /10
- Documentation /10
- Authenticity /10
- Creativity / Presentation /10
- Complexity /10- Workmanship /10
Total score: /100
Entrants will also be asked to indicate whether they are 'beginners' or 'experienced'. Beginners are those who are making their first attempt at a particular style or technique, whereas experienced entrants are those who already have a good level of skill. You decide what level you're at and the judges will take this into consideration when scoring your entry.
The prizes
- First prize - for the overall best entry the prize is still an SCA membership or a Rowany Festival ticket. The winner will also receive a bell (the traditional prize for and A&S competition)
- Encouragement prize - To encourage more beginners to have a go, the prize for the best entry from a beginner will be a subscription to the Lochac A&S magazine 'Cockatrice'.
As putting together an entire outfit is a big effort, all entrants will receive a token to keep.
Good luck and I hope to see your entry at the Feast of the Four Winds in 2007
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Art's Whirlwind UK Shoe Tour plans
So far, the tour schedule looks roughly like this:
Thursday 28th June - Depart Australia
Friday - Land in London
Saturday - Train up to York.
Sunday and Monday - York - Hang with best friend, do Jorvik centre, York Museums, whatever else takes our fancy
Tuesday and Wednesday - Hadrian's Wall, Vindolanda, Roman Army Museum
Thursday - York - Hopefully side trip to Royal Armouries in Leeds
Friday - Train to London - Portobello Road and mundane shopping
Saturday and Sunday - London - V&A Museum, Museum of London, British Museum, Wallace Collection
Monday - London - SCA shopping at the list of places courtesy of Duchess D. Depart for Australia Monday evening
Wednesday 11th July - Arrive back in Australia.
Why York? Well, my best friend lives in York and the main purpose of this trip is to see her. However, any excuse is a good excuse to get in some shoe research (and other things of course).
We've emailed a number of places and will hopefully get an appointment to view the collections up close.We will, of course, take oodles of photos, with measuring tapes to show scale etc..
Monday, March 26, 2007
We interrupt your regular viewing
So I will be taking a leave of absence from the SCA for a while (because you should never sew or fight without a brain*).
Normal programming is scheduled to resume in November.
*Yes, you technically CAN do these things without a brain and some people do, but just because you can doesn't mean you should.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Canterbury Faire
I have photos from our trip up on Flickr here, but we forgot to take photos for the most part so the collection is somewhat biased towards hedgehogs and yurts.
So what was cool about Canterbury Faire? On the A&S front, SHOES! I know I have a thing about period shoes, but there were a) lots of period shoes at CF and b) people who like making period shoes. I got to meet two fellow shoe aficionados in William de Wyke and Master Llewelyn ap Daffyd and happily set my brain to “sponge” to absorb as much info about shoe construction as possible. I’ve come to shoe construction from the costuming angle so I hadn’t really grasped the intricacies of how leather behaves and some of the stitching techniques and materials I’d seen in diagrams made not much sense to me.
I now have all kinds of info about how the tanning method affects the stretchiness of leather, what sort of the thread to use, how to make that thread using linen and a ball of gunk, why beeswax is your friend for watertight seams, how the whole boars bristle/fishing line thing works for tunnel stitching, how to awl holes for tunnel stitching, why mirror polished awls are your friend.
I had my new calcei pieces with me, with the intent of stitching them up at CF. I got one done, but the toe area just wouldn’t turn out, despite wetting the leather. William and I spent some time pondering what we could do. Turns out the leather I’d used was chrome tanned, hence the lack of stretchiness when wet. We looked at the stitching. William suggested that the seam might work better with a different stitching method, which I thought sounded interesting so next thing you know the scissors are out and the seam is being cut open. Master Llewelyn walked past at that point and advised that while there is the myth of “Mistress Laurel Seam-Checker” that one did not in fact have to open up other people’s seams and re-sew them in order to be considered as a future candidate. All in good fun. I think the new seam possibly works better. I need to find some more information about how the roman calcei were done up. I’ve always done a criss-cross lacing out of habit rather than any evidence that this was how it was done.
I’m going to the UK in July to visit Dr Krys in York and will also take the opportunity to go up to Vindolanda and look at their shoe finds. The photos are nice, but I really want to get up close and look at how the seams are done.
A number of us “shoe-folk” ended up talking about forming a Guild of Cordwainers and Cobblers to promote period footwear. Until Canterbury Faire I didn’t know the difference between a Cordwainer and a Cobbler. Now I do. Cordwainers made shoes from new leather. Cobblers were only allowed to repair shoes using leather from old shoes (hence the phrasing “cobbling” something together). I'm looking forward to the new Guild.
So on the "to-do" list of shoemaking for me is:
- figuring out how to make lasts (wooden models which allow you to stretch and fit a shoe around), which is something I’ll be enlisting the aid of Mr B for in the future. Once you've got a last, making shoes becomes a whole lot easier and you can swap lasts with other people and make shoes for each other.
- Making my own waxed linen thread using dry spun linen and a ball of gunk (which I'm hoping Miss D managed to smuggle back into Australia). I need to get the recipe to make my own ball of gunk.
- Learning to attached the thread to a bit of fishing line so I can do tunnel stitching.
- Do some non-Roman shoes, like the 16th Century Hollandish ones I did the pattern for but haven't put together yet.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Buttons!
We're off to Woodstock: When banners go wrong
The Final Frontier for the banner project was steam fixing the dye. I'd bought steam fix dyes on the advice that they produce the nicest colours without loosing the suppleness of the silk. The instructions were to roll the silk up in brown paper, then coil and place in a steamer (standard vegie steamer in my case, which I was assured works fine). The big warning was "Don't let the silk get wet or it will end in tears".
So after a long quest for brown paper (harder than you might think - I eventually found some rolls at a Newsagent for "covering school books"), I was ready. I rolled my silk up in the brown paper (I had skinny rolls so had to use three long strips that overlapped), coiled it up in the steamer and put it on to steam.
At this point it would really have been a good idea to:
a) read the instructions on the bottle of dye a bit more carefully
b) not attempt to do A&S projects while having the flu (impairs judgement no end and my brain had gone slightly squishy after running around town looking for brown paper, but at times like this you never remember that perhaps you should not be doing anything that needs good mental acuity)
So the instructions on the bottle were "after painting onto silk, let dry for 6 hours then steam for 1-3 hours". I mis-read and steamed for 6 hours.
Remember the warning about don't let the silk get wet while steaming? I'd been very careful about making sure the steamer basket didn't touch the water in the base, but 6 hours in a steamer produces a lot of condensation and the rolled up brown paper silk parcel was a tight fit.
So, it got wet and the end result was a banner that would be perfect if we we're off to a Woodstock re-creation society, but not quite the look I was going for.
The reason why the dye must not get wet during the steaming is that steam fix dye, once fixed, is fixed rather permanently. The instructions said to wash in cold water to rinse out excess dye, which I did. I then gave it a soak in "run away" to see if that would possibly remove the dye and leave the gutta. That dye is pretty firmly set. The photo above is after all the soaking.
It did not end in tears, however. Mr B had done a little banner down the narrow end of the banner in the spare silk and that end didn't get as wet so it only had a few little splotches. It looks nice and the colours came out really nicely.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Silk banner project
Blayney's Shade Pavilion
Dragonwing (USA company) make and sell heaps of these things amongst other pavilions and also are kind enough to have patterns and instructions up on their website.
Originally the plan was to have the pavilion ready for 12th Night so we could enjoy the funky new event format in style. Mr B managed to get it finished in just under 3 weeks, however we had an unexpected hitch when the 12th Night stewards announced that the site was limited in the amount of pegged pavilions that could be erected and they had already reached that limit. So it looks like the new shade pav will stay home.
Still, it looked impressive enough in our backyard so I'm putting up a few home happy snaps of the pavilion here to share. I must admit up front that I had nothing to do with the design or construction of the pav. Blayney did nearly all of the work, with Bleddyn doing some work on the poles.
On the whole, I think it turned out great and I look forward to getting to use it at an event at some point.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Blackwork cuffs: One down, one to go
I've never really gone in for embroidery as all that fine attention to detail is usually beyond my attention span. I decided to have a go at blackwork because it looked interesting, particularly the whole reversible concept. A long time ago I'd printed off some blackwork patterns so I had a flick through and found a strawberry motif. Knowing that Miss D was about to become a venerable Duchess and there would be cause from strawberries, I decided to give that one a go. If I turned out not to be completely inept, it would become a pair of blackwork cuffs to go with that Elizabethan frock Miss D keeps swearing she's going to make, any reign now.

Full length of blackwork with measuring tape.
Close up shot of the front side.
And a close up of the reverse side. As you can see, not quite reversible. Still need a bit of practice at getting the ends of the threads nice and neat.
So that's one cuff finished. Now to start on the second one.I'm aiming to have the next one completed by July. Then Miss D gets the fun task of making the frock to go with the cuffs.
*Diversional A&S Projects: The projects you start because you're sick of your current projects. In this case I was sick of doing button holes on my watchcoat and certainly didn't want to face starting to make the covered buttons. Still have one more button hole to go and haven't even started on the covered buttons.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Revised Four Winds A&S Competition
Well I promised to post the revised competition information as soon as I'd figured it out and not even the wrath of the gods (via a Rowany Baronial pavilion pole*) is going to delay this any further, so here it is!
Four Winds A&S Competition - 2007
New entry and scoring criteria, plus more prizes!
The goal of the competition is still to produce a head-to-toe costume, a complete "look" for your choice of style.
Entry requirements
At least 75% of the entry must not have been previously entered in a Four Winds competition. So if you made something this year, but didn't enter it, you can enter it next year. This should give people a bit more time to get pieces together and include items they've made previously.
There is no restriction on the amount of the entry that is your own work, but you must indicate which items have been purchased or otherwise created by someone else. You will not receive as many points, but it will still contribute to your overall score.
Scoring system
- Components of the outfit /50
o Undergarments (chemise, smock, hose, brays etc..) /10
o Outer garments (Gown, tunic, coat, etc..) /10
o Footwear (shoes, boots, sandals etc..) /10
o Headwear (head coverings, hair styles, adornments etc..) /10
o Accessojewelryellery, belts, partlets etc..) /10
- Documentation /10
- Authenticity /10
- Creativity / Presentation /10
- Complexity /10
- Workmanship /10
Total score: /100
Entrants will also be asked to indicate whether they are 'beginners' or 'experienced'. Beginners are those who are making their first attempt at a particular style or technique, whereas experienced entrants are those who already have a good level of skill. You decide what level you're at and the judges will take this into consideration when scoring your entry.
The prizes (that's right, more than one now)
- First prize - for the overall best entry the prize is still an SCA membership or a Rowany Festival ticket. The winner will also receive a bell (the traditional prize for and A&S competition)
- Encouragement prize - To encourage more beginners to have a go, the prize for the best entry from a beginner will be a subscription to the Lochac A&S magazine 'Cockatrice'.
As putting together an entire outfit is a big effort, all entrants will receive a token to keep.
Good luck and I hope to see your entry at the Feast of the Four Winds in 2007
*Rowany Yule Tournament yesterday. A freak gust of wind flapped the Rowany baronial pavilion enough that one of the centre poles came free and landed on my noggin. Stories of huge gaping wounds, gushing blood, wailing & gnashing of teeth, rushing to hospital with severe head trauma are all true**
** For the given values of true as follows:
"huge gaping wounds" = a small cut about 1cm long by 1mm deep
"gushing blood" = slightly oozing
"wailing & gnashing of teeth" - a bit of blubbering from shock and surprise
"rushing to hospital" - a medium paced trip to Canterbury Hospital casualty in our Elantra while trying to balance ice pack and map.
"severe hconcussion - a bit of concussionn, some bruising and lumps, and a small cut. No stitches, just a handful of painkillers and instructions of "take it easy". Unfortunately this happened before the tourney started so I missed the entire thing.