A lost dream found

Warning - some uncharacteristically personal and heartfelt words follow, that have nothing to do with shoes.



Last night at Rowany Yule, my consort, Thaddeus Blayney, joined the Order of Chivalry. The ceremony was beautiful and meaningful, and aside from the obvious joy of seeing my consort become a Knight of Lochac, it restored my faith in a dream that I thought was lost.

In the SCA we refer a lot to "the dream". The dream varies from person to person, but it is most often a shared vision of a society where we can pursue our interest in a time gone before while embracing the values of chivalry and courtesy. For me, the dream has always been about the magic that comes from that sincere belief in those values. Last night I remembered the first court I attended many years ago and how I was moved by the words of the Crown, by the sincerity of those swearing fealty, by the feeling of being a part of something that was great.

In the last couple of years, I've felt that dream eroding. I've watched my local group that I helped to found being consumed by petty squabbles, politics, egos, and general crap, while I myself was increasingly absorbed by mundane work and studies that left little time and energy to defend a dream. Having been freed from some mundane pressures recently, I felt my dream had been lost, eroded away by a constant battering, to the point that I began to doubt whether my dream was shared by anyone else.

This weekend, I found my dream again. It was (not surprisingly) right where I'd left it. It was there with those wonderful people I am fortunate enough to call friends, those who share the same dream I do.

It was there in the knighting ceremony, in all the glory that enchanted me many years ago.

The Ladies of the Rose who escorted us into court, symbolising the inspiration that consorts bring to their fighters. Duchess Yolande's beautiful words on the virtues of courtesy and grace that must be present in a Knight (and tight buns, thank you Countess Mathilde). They reminded me of the first time Blayney asked me to be his consort, the first coronet list he fought in.

Duke Sir Cornelius, who spoke of the virtues of prowess, chivalry and honour. It reminded me of the great acts of chivalry and prowess that I've witnessed on the field. Those heart-stopping moments in Crown finals.

Duke Sir Uther, who Blayney squired to many years ago, who spoke of the bond between Knight and Squire. His heartfelt words as he released Blayney from the oath of fealty between Knight and Squire. It reminded me of the 12th Night from hell, which in a bizarre twist ended with Blayney decided to ask Uther to take him as a squire. I remember Uther calling us up in court at Festival when he took Blayney as his squire, asking Gawain to be his foster knight in Lochac, and that sense of lineage as we were introduced to his grand-daddy knight Duke Sir Jade.

From the Chain of Champions - worn by many since the earliest days of the Society and from the hand of Blayney's squire brother Evandyr, recently knighted and Prince of the Mists - to the White Belt - worn by only one other, Sir Gawain, last Prince of Lochac, a dear friend whose memory still beats strong in our hearts as it surely does in those who were fortunate enough to know him. So many memories there, all of them inspiring.

And lastly, the floor-shaking, resounding huzzah from the populace as the newest Knight in Lochac was proclaimed. It reminded me more than anything that this dream is alive in so many people and that when the magic is there we cheer it loud and proud.

To have so many of our friends there to share this was wonderful. The hugs (and tears) were heartfelt and I honestly felt like I had come home to the SCA I love.

Talking to people afterwards it became clear to me that the SCA of my dream is shared by a great many. That it really is only a minority who take joy in cheapening and spoiling the magic. Even when we do get caught up in petty squabbles and politics, deep down, most of us play this game because we were enchanted by a dream.

The magic isn't always there. Australians are too good at lopping tall poppies down. We're embarrassed to be proud of each other, to embrace an ideal, so we downplay the magic. We "dumb down" the game and in doing that we loose the spark that attracted us to the SCA in the first place. We are too embarrassed to speak up and say "we believe in the magic". In the name of acceptance and tolerance, we sometimes allow in those who would mock and belittle the dream and these people will slowly erode the dream unless we can put aside our awkwardness and defend the dream that we believe in.

For me, I feel my faith in the SCA renewed. I've found my dream again and will strive to do what I can to focus things back on the magic that makes the SCA great and to defend that dream against those who would batter it down.

To those wonderful people who I am proud to call my friends, I thank you for being there this weekend (literally and figuratively) and I look forward to sharing the dream together for years to come.

In service to the dream.